Indecision

Today's post comes off the back of a bit of a shit week for me in which I've not been feeling my best. Just thought I'd get that across nice and early.
 I'll be trying my best to tackle my inability to make the correct decision in general life. There is a large possibility that this issue isn't as serious as I've been making it out to be, but I have been receiving some pressure to write another post all week. In all honesty, I do really enjoy these posts. A possibly explanation for my growing affection for this medium is that I've somewhat fallen out of love with twitter. I've still been using it far more than really should be prescribed, but I feel as though the quality of my tweets has dropped and it's been taking up a lot of my time. So that's why I'm here. Not that I'm an unpopular tweeter, in fact my calibre is so high that I'm worth spamming. Throughout the last week I've gained 17 female followers, none of which speak a word of English. Dodgy? Well, you can decide for yourself, I'm sure it won't be all that difficult.

Anyway, side-tracking over, I don't appear to have the moral strength to decide what I should be doing in my life in general, and I feel this subject could have a considerable affect on my life. I'm really uncertain as to what I should be striving for academically. Nor have I a clue what I'd like to do in my later life. In all honestly I'm expecting to find myself spending the next two years in Fearnhill's six form. But is this good? How should I know, I'm so oblivious to what choices I should be making it's quite frightening. Surely what you really need is an aim, a goal. Seeing as I have no specific goal, does that mean I'll be going no where? It's been quite hard on me these days. I still think I'd enjoy going to University. Hell, if Jamie's anything to judge by I'm sure I'd have a whale of a time, but in many ways I don't want to end up going and finding that anything I achieve becomes useless. I am a liability for this in many ways.
 Disclaimer; that was not intended as a dig towards Jamie, he's got to where he wants to be and technically I'm proud of him. Supposedly, anyway. 
I expect that this flood has been triggered from the way most of my friends appear to have there futures planned so immaculately. Still it's nice to clear the virtual air.

As childish as this'll sound, I don't think I've ever really been able to know when it is that I've liked a girl. It's an odd topic, but whenever posed with a question childish question on who I 'fancy', my answer is most likely to be 'No one'. It is something I've only realised quite recently, but it's opened my eyes somewhat. I've probably been head over heals for most of the girls in my school at some point or other and been the only one not to clock it. Who knows, this revelation may even alter the way I conduct myself. Whatever. I'm bored of typing about my singularity every week.

So yeah, this stuff affects me in general, so hopefully this can combat any troubles. Anyway, I'll be going to look around the local Catholic school tonight. This should be pretty useful, but it'll be daunting in many ways too. I can probably achieve the required 5 B-A*s, but I still don't feel like I'll be very fitting there. Anyway, that feels like enough.

Writing this blog has been a pleasant experience. Although I can sense it hasn't been my best, I had some superb background music from The Beatles, In particular I'm Happy just to dance with you.
I also managed to arrange to see a childhood friend who I haven't spoken to for two years or so, which is pretty brill. So much so that it calls for some celebratory Elvis. That's the fucking spirit.

So I suppose socially my plans are all right. Tomorrow I've planned to play a football match with a few mates, and later on I'll visit the most prestigious Rosie so that we can swap jumpers and I can re-gain the knitwear I've so missed. Then on Saturday Liam's coming round so that we can watch Submarine. It feels nice for me because he's the man who got me to watch Fight Club which I absolutely adored, so it's like I'm giving something back. He'll love that film, he's got no choice.

Seeing as it's his Birthday I feel I should give a man who really is my best mate a shout. Today is Tom's birthday, but really the whole affair's made me quite sad. It dawned on me how bad the contact is that we share and how much I simply miss the guy. The fact that I didn't realise today was his birthday should be unacceptable. It's strange how bad it's made me feel. It's close to heart-wrenching, but less dramatic. I'm not a complete dick.

When I'm on the topic of being pissed off and unhappy, I think that Heather deserves a massive shout. She's been really helpful for me throughout the week and she's a great person who deserves the fantastic life she's effortlessly paving out for herself. So yeah, thanks.

I'm never sure how to say goodbye so I guess I'll just stop typing.